Write an inmate

Libre te quiero
Como arrollo que brinca
De peña en peña.
Pero no mía.

escribía Agustín García Calvo. Una oda al amor por la libertad y la individualidad que por más bello que suene, su parecido con la realidad es mera casualidad. Amar algo o a alguien es querer poseerlo.
Los deseos de encerrar a aquellos con los que estamos emocionalmente ligados para que sean siempre nuestros terminan con muchas relaciones, pero son tan comunes como los celos. Sería hipócrita decir que nunca los hemos experimentado, no me refiero al secuestro en una torre remota, sino a ese mal sabor de boca que se nos queda cuando nuestra pareja sale de copas con los amigos. Si puedieramos elegir, preferiríamos que se quedara en casa viendo Eurovisión o jugando a Grand Theft Auto. Controlar y dominar estas emociones es tarea de cada cual, pero para aquellos que no sean capaces de sobrellevar la angustia, ha nacido writeaninmate.com, una website donde prisioneros se anuncian buscando pareja. Es el match.com de las cárceles. Copio y pego algunos de los anuncios:

"I am currently incarcerated for murder, motions in court to get my time reduced. I don't mind telling anyone about my case, I was seeing a girl with an abusive ex-boyfriend, both mentally and physically. He didn't like me because I was good to her and wouldn't let him get close to her anymore. There was a physical altercation he was killed. That's really all I can say about it as I have motions in court still. I can say I am definitely not guilty of murder. I'm a very loyal person I am very close to my family and friends and I have a big heart. I am interested in writing via "snail mail" anyone who is interested in writing me.
The things I hate in life are child molesters, rapists, and ignorance. I also do not deal with dishonest people."

"Puerto Rican guy. that like reading books , about true crimes , law books , and leaning the law , writing , and talking about the world , new , weather, I also love trees, flowers ,and nature .I'm looking for a female pen pal, respectful, honest, sincere, trustworthy, reliable, and loyal. Your nationality, age, physical appearance complexion, social ,and economic status are not of concern to me , as long as you're beautiful on the inside, and show it through your actions . Photos appreciated , no Polaroids."


"I’m not in for anything weird - my crime was assaulting a man who attacked me. I get out of prison in a few years. I have a loving relationship with my family. I’m currently single and interested in meeting a friend, and if the chemistry is right…who knows.
I’m looking for someone special. I’ve never been married, but would like to be committed to the right woman. All women 30-55, all cultures, are welcome to write or email me. I promise to be sincere.

PS: Prison is a blue place…be my ray of sunshine…"

"My name is... I am 28 years old, 5'11, 175 pounds, and I've been serving time for murder/robberies since I was 17. So, for the past 11 years I've traveled a hard a lonely road to become the man I am today.
But not without paying a heavy price for the lessons I've learned, where for the experiences and knowledge that I've acquired along the way. And, even though I am a better man for it I've become somewhat of an enigma. Because you can't place me in to any one category anymore. Yet, I fluctuate between every category. That's because prison doesn't define who I am it is just where I am at this point. I much deeper then I may appear to you."

"I may have started off on the wrong foot with my ex when I laid down the ground rules. I said I'll be home when I want and what time I want. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I will not be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card playing when I want and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules, any comments! She said that's fine with me just understand that there will be sex here at 7 p.m. every night, whether you're here are not. Well now that I am single again, I used to have old aunt's come to me at weddings poking me in the ribs and telling me "you're next" they stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

Qué lindos anuncios, qué lindas intenciones. Tras una mañana leyendo perfiles de presidiarios me ha entrado la necesidad de rescatar algún alma descarriada, de acurrucar en mi regazo a alguien carente de amor. Casi entiendo la popularidad de estas prácticas. Además de saciar los instintos maternales de protección y esa egoísta inclinación por ayudar a otros para sentirse mejor con uno mismo, la duda de que se escape con otra desaparece en estos casos, así como las preguntas repentinas: "Dónde estará ahora?"
Estas, junto con el síndrome de la hybristophilia o atracción sexual hacia personas violentas son las razones del éxito de este tipo de relaciones. Si los criminales no contaban ya con un suficiente número de clubs de fans, esta iniciativa facilita el contacto entre ellos. Sólo queda elegir y entre un conductor borracho o un asesio en serie, yo me quedo con éste último, dónde va a parar.
Pero ante todo yo, te quiero libre. Pero no mío.